A trap of Fate
by Arona-ME
Summary: Their ways parted and now the cold hearts can be melted only by a fateful trap.
1. Chapter 1: DESPAIR

DESPAIR

The dry, cracked lips refused to obey. Lying in this impenetrable darkness without any sound, it seemed to him that he left his body a long time ago, plunged into non-existence. Only bottomless void around.

"Shepard … are you here?" he whispered heavily.

Silence.

"Jane? Answer me …"

Silence.

Collecting the remainder of his strength, he slowly reached out with a weakening hand where the woman should be lying. The rustle of crushed stones and splinters on the floor caused by his movement sounded like music to his ears. At last, fingers felt the touch of her skin. Something wasn't right. She was silent. And she was... too cold. No, not dead yet, but the inexhaustible energy that defined Shepard was gone. The woman was fading away … He clasped her palm as much as he could and tried to wake her.

"Jane, please … If you hear me, just give any sign …" his lips murmured limply.

But she remained silent and her palm motionless.

Thane Krios had accepted death a long time ago, no matter how and when it would come for him. But for the last few days he prayed to gods for rescue. Not his. Hers. Increasingly plunging into half sleep half meditation, he chanted their names, repeating "Please … Please …" But they abandoned him. _You were insufficiently assiduous in your prayers, Krios, you were insufficiently diligent in the attempts to expiate your actions. You don't deserve such a gift before your own death._

As his barely beating heart collapsed from pain, a knot formed in his throat and the last thing the drell remembered was a weak and hoarse shout of despair pulled from the depths of his breast, carrying away with it the remaining energy of a dying body.

* * *

4 MONTHS AND 9 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. DEEP SPACE. SSV NORMANDY

"Shepard, you should probably know, Mr. Krios has been waiting outside your door for the past four minutes."

Commander raised an eyebrow in surprise, turning away from her private terminal.

"And what is he doing there?" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing. Just staying and seemingly thinking about something," EDI informed her.

"Damn philosopher …" Grumbling, Shepard stood up from her working chair and headed for the exit.

The doors hissed open and, in two feet, she found herself face to face with the drell. Startled from her sudden appearance, he lifted his black eyes up to her.

"What the hell, Krios?" she asked with annoyance, crossing her arms and learning against the door frame.

"Sorry, Shepard. I didn't intend to disturb you. Just wanted to talk." he answered calmly.

"And that's why you stood out here instead of entering?" Shepard questioned.

"I … wasn't completely sure -"

"Are you sure_ now_?" she inconsiderately interrupted.

"I am, yes." drell slightly frowned and looked into her eyes. "Will you allow me to enter or do you wish to speak out here?"

She nodded towards her cabin, examining him with appraisal from behind when he entered.

"What's going on, Thane?" the Commander heavily took a seat on couch and gestured for him to follow suit.

He nodded with appreciation and cautiously sat down on edge, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his palms together.

"You see, Shepard … As far as I understand, the mission for which you sought me out on Illium is successfully completed."

"Well, yes, unless the Collectors have another base." her expression became slightly surprised.

"Then, under these circumstances, I'd like to leave your crew." he said smoothly, looking at her.

Shepard's eyebrows shot upwards.

"Why? Is something wrong with your son?"

"No, Kolyat is fine" he nodded. "It's just me. I am afraid it will be too problematic for me to work further under your command. And time for me is short as well. Our subsequent purposes aren't absolutely clear, so I would prefer to spend this time close to my son."

"Problematic to work under my command? Explain." Shepard moved forward, her eyes narrowed.

Krios sighed and slightly made a helpless gesture.

"I don't quite agree with the decisions you so readily accept and your ways of achieving your goals. Pressure, unjustified cruelty, murders, all unnecessary … I have always worked alone, made my own decision and answered for them. The present state of affairs … divides me even more than I was before. I have done, and come to terms with, what you've asked of me, even if it is something I do not agree with. That cannot continue.."

Shepard stared at him with a heart-searching look and he answered in kind. It was as if they were dangerous predators, each studying the opposition, but neither assured of their own victory.

"Krios, are you okay?" she finally observed, inclining her head a little.

"Are you inquiring after my mental condition?" the drell looked away. "Don't worry, it is not a spontaneous decision. I'm absolutely collected now."

"So, then maybe you will explain to me what the hell is it? You understand perfectly that I have every good fighter under my belt and I need you here. I am a soldier and we are at war, no holds barred. Leave moral questions to me. Do your job and you'll make it out fine."

"I am not a soldier, Shepard, I am a killer. But I'm not a weapon in another's hands. Not any more... Sorry... If the decisive battle against the Reapers happens before my death, I will find you. Take care …"

The drell rose, momentarily hanging back as if he wished to say more, but then decisively headed to the door without looking back at the woman.

Left in the cabin alone, Shepard retrieved a bottle of her favorite cognac from the bar, generously poured the golden-amber drink into the casual wine glass, and emptied it in one gulp. She didn't have any special feelings toward Krios. If anything, a loss of a single crew member would not affect her much. Still, for some reason, deep down, her heart felt vile.

* * *

18 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. ORBIT OF CRONA. SSV NORMANDY

"Request confirmed, Commander. ETA eight minutes."

"Thanks, Joker," Shepard answered and switched on the speaker phone button on the control panel. "Attention everyone, this is the Commander. We're approaching the docking cradle. You have twelve hours. Local underground complex is not the Citadel, of course, but there are some fleshpots. Rest up and try not to get into a mess. Stay in touch. Good luck."

She was on her way to elevator when she was suddenly called by Garrus.

"Hey, Shepard!" She nodded in greeting and stopped. " Are you sure you want to go alone? Lower floors are not the safest, actually... "

"Don't worry, buddy, I just have some private matters to attend to," Shepard clapped the turian on his shoulder. "I'll keep to myself. Go to the bar. Relax. Perhaps you'll meet some nice girls..."

Vakarian snorted in light disgust.

"Don't make fun of me, Shepard. I'm not into things like that."

"Hey, okay. Don't be mad," she smiled. "My motives are friendly. Well, Garrus, as you wish. See you tomorrow."

The turian watched her leave while the elevator doors stayed open.

Crona was a severe planet, unsuitable for life. However, it abounded with natural resources and gradually, along with a set of mines and processing factories, the huge underground complex had been built in its core and served simultaneously as a shopping center, a vacation spot and simply as a transshipment point. The reputation of this place was better than Omega's, of course, but obviously wasn't as safe as Illium. Contraband, drug traffic and prostitution prospered on the lower levels. Despite the fact that the planet was in Council space, the officials did not care about what went on here.

Shepard knew that it was possible to find practically everything on the black market without the risk of being caught. But all the same, she did not want to involve the crew in her plans. The problems and weaknesses were her own to deal with. Standing in the elevator, smoothly counting floors on the indicator, she reflected on what to be engaged in after buying what she needed here. To get drunk in a bar? Lately, alcohol didn't bring her relief. It only aggravated depression and "pleased" with morning hang-overs. Little sense in that. Perhaps, go to a theater? The woman smiled ironically to herself. "You in a theater is like an elephant in a china shop. The same subtlety and delicacy", sounded a voice in her head. She would like to contemplate something beautiful though, but theatrical atmosphere was obviously not for the likes of her. Maybe casino? It was a good idea. Rather the best choice. There were enough credits in her pocket to have a blast with some skillian five or poker.

The indicator blinked "-20" and the elevator doors opened. Voilà! The ground floor of the complex. _Feel at home, but don't forget that you're on a visit. An open attack is unlikely, but you never know whom you'll meet among the rabble hanging around._ Unlike the top floors, there were too many batarians and volus here, less - humans. The floor looked more like a market than trading complex. The numerous shops were decorated by neon signboards, hardly dressed ladies leaned against the walls with bored expression, traffickers scurried through the walkways, and peddlers offered services unrelated to sales.

Having passed about forty feet, Shepard was about to round a corner when out of the corner of her eye, she caught a familiar sight: a drell at one of the counters, talking to an elcor dealer. She saw him only from behind, but she knew she wasn't mistaken. Shepard wished to pass by at first, but suddenly felt curious and slightly resentful. She headed toward him with deliberation and stopped a few feet behind the drell.

"So you left the ship for hanging around in this hole?" she asked calmly. He turned around slowly and examined her from head-to-toe before answered indifferently. "Shepard … Glad to see you too. No, I'm on business. And what are you doing here?"

"On business?" she sarcastically smiled, crossing her arms. "Did you return to your old job?"

"We'll finish our talk later." Krios shot to the dealer and headed away from counter, withdrawing Shepard by her elbow with him. "No, I didn't. This is different. So what are you doing here alone?" he frowned.

"Different? In what way? You became a pimp?" Shepard twisted her lips in a poisonous grin. "And I'm here because of … private affairs. The crew is on the upper floors."

The drell stopped and stared at her with reproof, shaking his head.

"You have not changed. You approach to me just to offend? Well, consider that a success. What's next?"

"All right!" she flung up her arms. "Yes, I'm a nasty piece of work, I don't deny it. Sorry. I really was very curious about what are you were doing here."

"I'm here because of … private affairs" he imitated her phrase, a faint smile playing across his lips. She looked away and muttered something to herself, smiling unnaturally.

"Well, not the best beginning for conversation," she said. "Listen, Thane, I know you don't hold me in the highest regard, I'm not crazy about you either, but nevertheless … We haven't seen each other in a while, I'd like to talk a little. What about having a drink somewhere in the bar? We'll just chat. I promise, I will try to keep my sharp tongue between my teeth."

"I do have a high regard for you, Jane, it's just … Never mind. As you wish. There is a good and quiet place on the fourth floor, I think. You'll like it. They pour excellent cognac from Earth."

"Wow." her eyebrow went upwards in surprise. " I didn't think you knew about this weakness of mine."

"Don't flatter yourself, it's just a professional notice." he said without a hint of a smile and added: "That way."

Entering the empty elevator, Shepard remembered that still hadn't bought what she came here for and bit her lip discontentedly. _Fine, I'll come back later. Anyway, I don't intend to sit around in the bar for too long_, she thought. The elevator began to lift up, but not even a few seconds had elapsed when suddenly, a powerful explosion rocked the whole place. Having lost her balance, her body jerked to the left, falling onto Krios who, in turn, crashed into the elevator wall with his shoulder. Everything around them began to grind loudly, threatening to burst their eardrums, light blinked a few times and went out, and in complete darkness, Shepard felt the ground beneath her feet drop off. After some agonizing moments, her body struck the ground and a sharp pain shot through her foot. Something knocked her on the head and before losing consciousness, she heard heavy fragments fall around her with a frightening roar…


	2. Chapter 2: PAIN

**Thank you all for the reviews! I really appreciate it and hope you'll like this chapter too :)**

**Disclamer: Don't grumble! I'm sorry for his jacket too! :D**

* * *

18 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA. SSV NORMANDY

Joker sat in the mess hall, enjoying the silence. Having preferred to stay on board even off duty, he was glad to be here alone. Though, he was almost never disturbed in his cabin, this sensation of an empty ship forced him for some reason to feel a sort of excitement as if he was left alone with a beloved for the very first time. Sipping beer from a tin, he stared into a point and recollected the different moments of his life connected with this ship. More precisely, not only with this one …

"Jeff, excuse me for the distraction, but there's something you should see. Please come to the terminal."

Moreau sighed angrily at being interrupted.

"EDI, maybe later? Let me relax a little."

"It is important, seems like we have big problems."

"Aha … And when don't we?" Joker grumbled and toddled to the information terminal.

"There was a package in mega-galactic news a few minutes ago," EDI explained and displayed the video recording.

Nice-looking broadcaster – asari of uncertain age - reported with an indifferent tone against a background of shots from the scene.

"Twenty minutes ago, a powerful explosion thundered in the Central underground complex of the planet Crona in system Ajaksis. According to preliminary data, the bomb was put on minus fifteenth floor to cause the maximum damages to the building. Thousands of people were buried under the rubble, and somewhere on the top floors, hermetic sealing was broken causing an instant death from being exposed to the toxic atmosphere. Rescue groups are on their way already. However, experts assert that clearing of rubble on such depth can become а problem in absent of suitable atmosphere for life on planet and insufficient quantity of the equipped working platforms near to complex. It can takes about twenty - thirty days. So-called "Conclave of the Slavers" already took responsibility for this act of terrorism as revenge for the destruction of four batarian ships in Terminus system by the Council forces. Stay tuned as we bring you the latest footage from this tragic event."

Moreau felt his knees weaken despite being in a sitting position. Grasping at the terminal to steady himself, he hardly breathed, heart beating without restraint.

"They were all there, EDI, right?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

"I'm afraid, yes, Jeff. I'm trying to set communication with each crew member, but there is a lot of interference. As soon as I'll get any data, I will inform you."

"Yeah … sure …" Joker said detached and headed to his cabin, unknowing what for.

* * *

PAIN

She heard some weird sounds. They seemed so distant and soft as if someone quietly scratched at the door of her consciousness. The sounds became closer and more distinct, and gradually she realized herself lying on the ground. She tried to open her eyes, but nothing changed, and in a moment Shepard understood that she was surrounded by utter darkness. The source of the sound was somewhere ahead as she laid on her side. Movement of stones on the floor and something else mixed up with specific light scrape of leather. Suddenly, she recollected what's happened and realized who could be the source of these sounds.

"Krios?" the name, escaped from her lips, rolled away with painful blow in her brain.

"Shepard! You are all right?" she heard excited familiar voice.

"I'm not sure …" she said quietly. "I think I got knocked out. Can't even speak plainly, the pain is pulling my brain to pieces … And you? You're okay?"

"It seems like it." Krios answered. "Just not enough place to unfold. Don't move, I'll try to look around here a little."

Darkness was cut by a weak luminescence as Thane used biotics.

"I thought you were able to see in the dark. I overestimated you." Shepard tried to joke.

The drell snorted ironically.

"There are always backlashes and cracks in any air-shafts through which light makes its way. In such conditions, I usually manage with my own sight. But here is a complete darkness. Sorry to disappoint you."

"Never mind. It's not your biggest disadvantage."

"Thank you, Shepard. As I see a knock on your head was not so injuring since your mordancy is in order." he answered calmly, trying to clear away the nearest place by his feet from wreckage.

Shepard smiled and closed her eyes. The thought that Krios could be dead forced a cold feeling inside her chest. Not that she would grieve for him particularly or was sensitive to another's death at all. But to put it mildly, she didn't like the possible perspective of ending up in this kind of coffin next to a dead body.

"I'm glad you're alive, Thane." she said to her own surprise and heard as he stopped for a moment.

"Yes, the feeling's... mutual." the drell answered and returned to clearing. " I just hope we won't regret it later."

"You are an optimist." she smiled.

"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Isn't that a human saying?"

NORMANDY! Shepard's heart skipped a beat. She just realized that all her crew was on the upper floors. What's happened to them? Where are they now? Are they alive? As silly as it sounded, she was suddenly seized by a feeling to jump up and clear all the rubble by hand. But after moving slightly, she was stopped as a sharp pain shot through her ankle to her brain.

"Mmm …" she moaned painfully. "Damn it. Apparently, I broke my leg..."

"But we were fortunate enough, Shepard." answered Krios coldly, panting from а pressure and continuing his work.

There was a wide steel beam standing obliquely between him and the woman. Shepard saw as some free space formed around the drell's feet. There were approximately two feet over their heads so they didn't have the possibility of even sitting down, therefore Thane had to remain recumbent.

"They were there, Thane … They were up there, all of them …" Jane muttered and her voice foully shivered. The drell seemingly caught it. He stopped clearing and laid down on the floor, exhaling heavily.

"They risked the lives every day. You risked their lives every day. Why is it so painful for you right now?" he finally asked.

"What stuff!" an anger filled her, but her voice remained impassive. She was able to control her emotions. "We were in a war and risked our lives for a just cause. To die so was an honor for them. And here is a death for a dog, unjustified, senseless … Don't you feel horrible knowing that you could perish like this here and now?"

"From the point of view of a dying person, the death is unjustified in any of her kind. It can't be beautiful or have some hidden sense … I always accepted that I will die in a fight, then I had to come to terms with dying from a trivial asphyxia. What excuse for such a death would you offer me? Besides, if I were you, I would think about our other perspective. Dying here from hunger and dehydration is much worse than being crushed by concrete plate up above."

Shepard cursed quietly. She used foul language rarely, but Krios knew that was an obvious sign of her anger.

"You're an even bigger heartless jerk than I assumed." she hissed and moaned again, turning over on her back.

"You judge me too superficially, Shepard. However, I would do the same for you too, probably. But it's not so important." musing for a moment, Krios answered and continued to handle the wreckage which was lying between him and Jane.

Biotics wasn't her forte, but after her "resurrection" Shepard noticed that her abilities in this area were amplified a bit. Despite being irritated at her unwilling companion in misfortune, she decided that just to lie and groan – not the best decision. She propped her hand on her elbow and a dim bluish light streamed from her fingers, illuminating the space between her and the drell.

"Don't. Keep up your strength," Thane said.

" Says you! Should I just lie here like a bag of dung?" she retorted caustically.

"You can if you want to", drell agreed quietly. "You are nervous, Jane. It prevents you from thinking rationally. Right now, you are spending energy in vain which needs to be preserved. Meanwhile, I don't need your help."

She exhaled loudly, laying down her hand. He was right, damn it. _Where's your composure, Shepard? Where's your vaunted endurance? Why are you enraged so much because of words of some killer, losing ability to think constructively?_ she spoke to herself.

About ten minutes passed when Thane finally failed tiredly on his back and turned off the biotic light.

"I did everything I could for now. But there is a thick steel beam between us which is pressed by the rest of the fragments. I can reach you by hand, but no more. Therefore you should try now to change your position so that I could examine your leg."

"Fine," Shepard quickly agreed, understanding that the sense was sound and altercations were not necessary now.

The task wasn't as simple as it appeared. Here and there were splinters of walls, and it was problematic for her not to touch them with her broken foot without forgetting about the headache at the same time. Highlighted with biotics, she saw a free space in front of Krios and after some painful minutes, she managed to move her leg into that aperture.

"I'm ready," she said, but Thane had already conveniently settled himself and begun examination.

Shepard's armor was absent, so he just cut by pocket knife the fabric of her tightly fitting pants up to her knee.

"It seems that your ankle is broken with displaced fracture-dislocation," he acknowledged."I need to remove your shoe. Bite the bullet."

Shepard hardly had time to take a breath and bit her lip as he snatched her shoe with fast movement of his hand. The woman groaned with a tense voice. But the drell didn't allow her to come around. One of his hand seized the bottom part of her shank and with the other one he sharply pulled on her foot toward himself.

"A-A-AH! Damn you, Krios! What are you doing?!" roared Shepard and it seemed to her that her head would blow up in a moment from equal pain.

"Do you prefer to walk in the future on a bandy leg?" he noted unperturbed and gave her an injection of medi-gel. The woman felt the pain recede as a pleasant heat spreads through her body.

"To walk? You just said that we will die here. So where have I to walk?" Jane teased him purposely, but understanding that he meant well.

"I can fix it as it was before."

"Screw you... Hey, why are you undressing? Is it hot here?"

"Woman… Be quiet just for a moment …" Krios answered wearily.

Shepard felt herself ashamed for some reason. She felt shame neither for her actions, nor for her words for a long time. She was feared, she was hated, she was respected… And she always did what she wanted. The shame and freedom were incomprehensible for her. But now she felt gratitude to this strange alien for his care. Though, she knew that he didn't have any special feelings toward her. She was smart, very smart, but now he told her she was a silly talkative schoolgirl and, perhaps for the first time for many years she told herself that sometimes it was better to keep a watch on her tongue.

As she reflected, Thane took off his jacket and mercilessly cut off the sleeve with his knife.

"Just tell me what are you doing, don't be silent," she cautiously asked.  
"It is necessary to fix your leg." he answered coolly.

Jane stopped bothering hims with questions and simply closed her eyes and relaxed, enjoying analgesia. She felt as Thane accurately put her leg on some cold wide plank and began to fix it with the hastily cut bandages from his jacket.

"Do you have anything useful on you?" he asked when he nearly finished his task.

"Not much. Three ampoules of medi-gel and a pistol. I was just going to have some fun, damn this complex…"

"Understandable… To have some fun at the lower levels - it suggests at some certain thoughts," Thane grinned.

"Not your business!" she shot.

"Yes, you told me this already… Done. You can take away your leg," he said, rustling with his jacket, cruelly deprived of both sleeves, and settled himself on the ground.

"Thank you," she muttered. "So what are we gonna do now?"

"We wait," he answered, plunging them back into darkness as his biotic glow died out.

Shepard guessed that there was no sense in waiting for further conversation in the nearest future. The drell, for certain, was deep in meditation.


	3. Chapter 3: IMPATIENCE

18 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA. SSV NORMANDY

"I've got a signal, Jeff. Jack's transmitter." EDI reported.

"Send it to the speakerphone," ordered the pilot excitedly and instantly heard specific hissing and familiar voice in dynamics.

" … Normandy! Do you copy?......... ndy!"

"Jack, it's Joker! Do you hear me?!"

"Damn you, Joker! I am so glad to........ you! It's one hell of an apocalypse over here! Do you ........... happened?"

"I know, Jack, I know!" Moreau answered loudly. "What about the others? Where are they? Where is Shepard?"

" ....... no idea! All of them went their own ways on the upper floors, and Shepard told ............... down! She didn't take anybody with her! I think she's there, Joker, and this is a fu...........isaster! Everything has fallen apart here!"

Joker leaned back on his chair and cursed. It was the worst kind of scenario. Anyhow, it was possible to do without any crew members or at least without half of them, but if something happened to Shepard, and something obviously did, then… Moreau diligently drove away this thought.

"Jack, back to the Normandy!" he answered.

"Go to hell!! Here's chaos at its best! Cries, panic! I could use biotics to ............ rubble and maybe I will find some of our people!"

"All right, but be careful!" Joker cautioned her tiredly, disconnecting the signal. "EDI, tell me you have some good news …"

"Negative," answered the AI soullessly. "I think, now we just have to wait, Jeff."

"Couldn't say that …" Moreau sighed heavily and, learning his head back on the headrest, closed his eyes.

* * *

IMPATIENCE

"Are you sleeping?"

"No."

"Time drags," she sighed. "Only four hours have passed and I'm going nuts already."

"I understand you. But patience is our main advantage now."

"I'm not able to stay silent and meditate for hours as you do. I'm used to spending every minute of my life in movement, in action … I'm afraid this skill is out of my depth."

Shepard heard as he grinned slightly.

"You don't have а choice. Besides, it is not as difficult as it seems. After all, you like to watch the stars for long periods of time in the Observation deck. It is about the same."

"Were you spying on me?" she cautiously asked, and much to her surprise she heard him let out a hardly contained laughter. Shepard never heard the drell laugh and his present reaction confused her.

"I don't get it. What's so funny?" she asked, trying to keep her voice sounding smooth and easy.

"It's you," Thane continued to chuckle silently.

"Krios, don't anger me."

"And would it be pleasant for you to know that I spied upon you?" He asked, laughing even more.

"What? What do you mean?... Oh... No! God, no! Go to hell!" Shepard felt his jeer and an irritation began to accrue inside her.

"I hate it when somebody gets into my private life and spies on me so it would be better for you to explain yourself!"

"Oh, Arashu… Jane, you're a smart woman!" he exhaled, calming down. "Just connect the obvious things, at least. I have excellent hearing, and the Observation deck on the Normandy is... where?"

She understood his thought at once. Certainly, now it was simple. He undoubtedly always recognized her steps in the hall and the silent hissing of the doors to the Observation deck at night. That fact that this strange drell forced her to feel silly for the last few hours tensed Shepard. _Loosing your skills_!, she told to herself, but suppressed the arisen emotions.

"Clearly." she replied coldly and hastened to change a delicate topic. "Do you have any idea as to what happened? The explosion is obviously hand-made."

"Yes, it seems that way. I have no idea who can be up to this. However, I arrived here only yesterday so I know no more than you. Now I'm just worried about how fast they can make their way down into the rubble."

Shepard sighed.

"I don't want to be the one saying it but, we're in deep shit, right? We are in the elevator shaft way below the ground floor. They will reach us after all the others, _if_ they ever reach us..."

"Yes, you are right, Shepard. We should not delude ourselves," Thane gloomy responded. "The heartrending experience is upon us."

The oppressive silence returned. And now Jane realized that they were so far and deep that their groans couldn't even be heard by others, hidden under the rubble. No one will hear their attempts to make way to the surface or their feeble cries for rescue. She didn't expect empty promises from Krios, telling her that everything will be okay, knowing perfectly well what the threat was. But nevertheless, she became afraid. Terribly afraid for the first time in many years. To die once again – no problem! But just not like this, just not here, withering away day after day, being locked in this tiny dark cage… Her heart seized, her lungs convulsively compressed, disallowing steady breathing. The woman started to panic.

"How long could a drell … live in such conditions?" she asked cautiously, trying not to give out her state of mind.

"It is difficult to say … It depends on the individual. About fifteen days on the average. And what about humans?" he asked, apparently having similar questions run through his mind.

"Ten … Twelve …"

This was it. Will Shepard breathe again? Unlikely. On one hand, Krios had higher chances of survival before miraculous rescue. On the other – the prospect of staying here next to her corpse could not possibly be pleasant for him. Neither this, nor that seemed to her as an acceptable variant and only convinced her even more of the gravity of their situation.

"Perhaps we could make something with biotics? To clear some of the rubble above?"she assumed with despair, clearly understanding that the thought was reckless.

"How do you figure that? If we touch or shift anything here, we risk breaking an already shaky balance of rubble and being crushed to death."

Jane could not reply. Squeezing her eyes, she breathed heavily, trying to calm down and compose herself.

"I know what you feel, Jane," he suddenly said. "I am uneasy, too. But I believe in cause and effect relations, and I feel that someone like you can't be lost so simply. Your role is too important …"

"Cause and effect relations…" she bitterly grinned. "Then what relation do you see for yourself to be here?"

"Who knows, Shepard?" he said thoughtfully. "It's no small riddle for me. My game is almost over, so probably, I'm here to help you for the last time or to convince you of something … I do not know."

"In that case, what a big twist of fate considering our mutual "warm" feelings toward each other," Jane answered with easy jeer in her voice.

"I understand. You would prefer that someone else was in my place. But I also would like to be far away from you right now. Let's simply consider this as a small addition to the basic test on patience."

"Oh …" she sighed crossly. "All this bosh about patience is starting to get on my nerves. I suggest we both go to sleep."

"As you wish, Shepard" the drell almost whispered and turned over on his side.


	4. Chapter 4: MEMORIES

17 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA. SSV NORMANDY

The shuttle walkway was already connected with the ship and Joker stood in the pass, nervously fidgeting from foot to foot. At last, the gate doors opened and Jack and Garrus flocked in, dragging a CIC navigator by his hands and feet. The poor fellow was senseless and had a big enough hematoma on his cheekbone. Behind them toddled slouched professor Solus and engineer Gabby Daniels with bounded up hand. All new arrived were covered by a thick layer of whitish dust which couldn't hide numerous cuts and grazes on each of them.

"That's it?!" Joker asked with the hysterical note in his voice. He obviously expected more.

"Tali is still there, she's fine" Garrus said tiredly, cautiously lowering the wounded navigator on the floor. "She is trying to bypass the interference to reestablish connection with anyone possible. Dr. Chakwas is there too, administering first aid."

"Noble, but irrational" the salarian began to chatter, his voice weak and quiet. "She has a light brain concussion, rest is necessary. Besides, I have more operational experience with different races. She should be here, on the Normandy. Others will be here soon who'll require medical attention."

"No way, doc" Jack shook her head. "You are the genius here, so Shepard will chew our heads off if something was to happen to you. So stay here and don't put out."

"Thank you for care, Jack. However, I venture to say that I did military service and…"

"She's right, professor," Garrus noticed. "You better stay here. We will go back and look after Dr. Chakwas, so you take care of these two," he nodded to Gabby and the lying navigator.

"By the way, concerning Shepard," Joker turned to the more important subject. "Did anybody see her?"

All shook their heads almost simultaneously.

"The last time I saw her was on the Normandy. She told me she was going to the lower levels for some private matters and refused my support. I am afraid, that's where she was before the explosion." the turian answered.

"We entered into a complex together and she told me the same. Then I saw her get into an elevator." Jack confirmed.

"Shit…" whispered Joker, scratching his nape.

"No kidding." she agreed. "And those Cerberus slinks disappeared too. Who's going to communicate now with the asshole number one?"

"The Illusive Man communicated with me yesterday already." Joker said. "Judging by his expression, he was furious about what happened. But he didn't include me in his plans, of course."

"I think he's planning a rescue". Garrus assumed.

"Sure thing! Who would throw away such an investment? Even our busty cheerleader is too valuable for him, apparently Don't worry, Cerberus will be here." calmed the former prisoner with authoritative tone.

But the conversation was unexpectedly interrupted by Mordin:

"Excuse me, but urgent care is needed for the injured. Take him to the med bay immediately. Gabby, follow me too." he said and headed to the medical bay.

* * *

MEMORIES

"Do you hear it too?" she asked excitedly, rising on her elbows.

"Yes. It seems like they furnished heavy machinery for clearing the rubble." Thane assumed.

Within a few minutes somewhere very far, almost on the verge of human hearing, Jane heard a roar of powerful motors and something similar to roar of overturned boulders.

"I can't stop thinking about them … About the Normandy …" Shepard sighed and laid down again. All her attempts to establish communication with the ship have failed. There was a lot of interference.

"They are thinking of you too. And they have more reason for fear."

"Yes, probably, you are right … And what have you been thinking about all this time? I don't believe you've been constantly sleeping and meditating. A few times I heard you chuckle to something."

"It's easier for me than for you. I just plunge into my pleasant memories and go through them again. Even though yours are not as real as mine, you could try that as well." Krios suggested.

"I would run as far as possible from all my memories." she murmured.

"Is everything so gloomy in the life of well-known Shepard?" there was a doubt in his deep voice.

"You think working for the Alliance or the damn Council is a fairy tale? Everything that I remember is infinite fights, corpses of my comrades, pain of wounds and as a result - my own death in deep space. You know the rest yourself. What would you recollect if you were me?"

Krios sighed and reflected for a moment.

"In such cases I would think of those whom I love." he told a little sadly.

"I don't love anybody… And never did," she sharply answered. "Because it would be silly and irresponsible for my part. I can die at any moment and bring pain to others, or someone can use this as my weakness to deal me a lethal blow. Am I not right?"

"Yes... You are right …" he answered not at once.

Suddenly, Jane realized that she unwittingly reminded Krios of a painful memory. Once, when she helped him pull his son out of the Citadel mess, Thane told her about his personal tragedy. He probably regretted now telling her that piece of private information, but what has been said cannot be changed. She never thought about it anymore, but she heard his voice tremble and she understood that she shouldn't have said anything.

"Thane, I'm sorry … I didn't mean to… I…" her lips began to babble by themselves. For some reason she felt bad about offending him, the only person who shared this impenetrable and silent darkness with her, the one who remained the last thing that connected her with life above …

"Don't apologize, everything's fine," he easily answered. "You are right. People like we have no right to endanger lives of others because of their feelings. But do you know where the paradox lies? If I could return to the past, I wouldn't resist falling in love again. Yes, I would act in another way and would be more cautious, but I couldn't refuse it. Those years with Irikah were the best of my life. Without that love I would have remained a weapon in another's hands, dead-hearted body, cool and insensible killer till the end of my days… Memories of her are everything that I have left and everything that forced me to live for the past ten years. Couldn't you try to have that feeling just once in your life? Perhaps after, you would not be so cold and judgmental in your decisions…"

Resentment filled Shepard. She even didn't notice as biotics lighted around the tips of her fingers, and cringing from the pain in her ankle, moved toward the metal beam separating them so she could see his face.

"Why do you always accuse me for my decisions, Krios?" she said angrily, trying to creep up as close to him as possible and look into his eyes. "You never were in my shoes and always were responsible only for yourself. You have no idea what it means to be in charge of tens, hundreds, thousands of people! So by what authority do you judge me!?"

"Did I accuse you? Is that so?" he said, unperturbed.

"And what does it stand for in your opinion?? You left my crew, having declared that I'm ruthless, callous bitch, sending people to death without reason! And …"

"I didn't say so." he interrupted her.

"Ah, yes!" Shepard retorted. "You had enough of your vaunted endurance and tolerance to not put it bluntly, but I am able to read between the lines, trust me! I don't require your appreciation and your criticism, I just do my best. And don't dare to tell me that I kill without a reason! At least, I don't kill people for money as you did!"

"Shepard …" in a swift movement his hand seized hers with a tight grasp, and in the dim light it seemed to Jane that anger sparked in his eyes. "I think, you're overreacting. Actually, my opinion shouldn't affect you at all, as long as I am so.. perverse. You meant that after all, right?"

Shepard was silent, furiously snuffling, and he continued, looking in her eyes intently:

"So, as to the reason of my leaving. I want you to understand just one thing: I am not going to judge you for your actions, and I will not even try to imagine myself on your place. You achieve the goals eventually and that is the main thing. But I just don't agree with your methods. They are unacceptable to me. Therefore, consider this situation from my point of view and not your own. And please… let's leave this question be."

They stared into each other's eyes for a few more seconds until Shepard yanked her hand out of his grip and returned back to her position, powering off her biotics.

"Sometimes, you are very difficult to understand, Krios" she said icily. "Are the other drell the same?"

"No. Not all of them. But I think the problem is that you don't completely understand yourself yet" he answered calmly as if nothing happened.

Having muttered something unpleasant to herself, Jane turned away from him on the other side and closed her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5: SOMETHING INTIMATE

16 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA

"Dr. Chakwas!" the quarian panted, resting her palms against her knees. She obviously hurried with important news.

The doctor turned back sharply and having seen Tali, carefully told the nearby lying batarian:

"Don't move, I will bind you up now. What's happened, Tali?" she asked the quarian, rising.

"Your presence is necessary on the Normandy. We found Jacob, he's in very bad condition… As much as he tries, Professor Solus hasn't the time to look after all men. He asked not to tell you about it, but I think it will be better if you come back."

The concern in Tali's voice transferred to Dr. Chakwas.

"Has anyone else been found? How many wounded are on board?" she asked.

"Grunt was retrieved from under rubble this morning, but he's almost fine, left to have a rest. There are five crewmen and Jacob in the med bay aboard the Normandy now. I don't known about the others…"

"And Shepard?" Chakwas cautiously asked.

The quarian just shook her head silently.

"Well, Tali, thanks," the woman looked down. "I will finish up with this batarian and head to the Normandy."

"Garrus , Jack, and I will be here. If something happens – contact us on standard frequency. Apparently, communication were more or less restored. Good luck, Dr. Chakwas." and she disappeared in a few seconds among huge layers of rubble and noise of people, scurrying about here and there.

* * *

SOMETHING INTIMATE

"Shepard, may I ask you something personal?"

"Sure." she answered with a slight surprise.

Honestly, Jane was glad to answer any question now. Despite the unpleasant fallout due to their last conversation which left them in silence for possibly more than twelve hours, she was ready to talk about anything to take her mind off water. This was the third day of their imprisonment in this concrete-plastic pile of rubble and the thirst was taking its toll. It was damnably dry in her mouth and it seemed to Shepard that her salivary glands refused to work at all. Her stomach foully hummed so loud that in any other situation these sounds in complete silence would at least have caused a smile. But now neither Jane nor Thane had reason for laughter. The discontent of her stomach was just another reminder that it would not be so bad to have a bite and mainly – to have a drink. She saw water in her dreams; it seemed to Shepard like she was drinking clear liquid from a glass, but the lush water neither came to an end not bring her any relief. The sensation of strong thirst didn't wish to recede. It only woke Jane up from one nightmare into another, more real one.…

"Tell me about your childhood." Thane asked.

"What? About my childhood? What is this for?" Shepard asked, her bewilderment only amplified.

"I thought about our last conversation. You said that you don't have any good memories, only specifying the period of your military service in the Alliance and the Council. And I thought that you could recollect something good from your childhood…"

He hardly had time to finish speaking as her silent and bitter laughter penetrated the darkness. Thane couldn't understand if she was laughing or crying.

"Seems like I asked the wrong question again. My apologies for that." he said, confused. "Forget about it."

"No, I'll tell you if you want," she answered, still continuing to smile. "My childhood … yeah … Can you imagine me in a gown, with bows and plaits?"

Thane thoughtfully hummed.

"A gown can beautify any woman better than armor regardless of her age. So I quite can imagine this, especially when you were a child. With bows and plaits?… I'm afraid I not quite understand what those are. Are they some sort of accessories?"

"Well … No. It's a kind of hairstyle for little girls… But it's not important. I never had plaits, gowns, or bows. I always wore pants and had short hair." Jane sighed deeply as if gaining strength before the long story. "I never saw my father, and mom was a drunkard. She died from alcohol poisoning, getting plastered on some shit back when I was six. We lived in the poor district and overpopulation was a very sensitive issue at that time, so our hovel was quickly appropriated by local gangs and my aunt took me in. I was not her favorite, of course, and her two sonnies were not delighted with a presence of pugnacious little girl in their house. Mice in the bed, glue instead of tooth-paste, rotten dinner … After several months of warfare, we made peace with them, but couldn't ever become friends. I went to school in the morning then took the bus to the rich district to steal credit cards …"

"You're joking..." Thane mistrustfully interrupted her.

"No," she answered casually. "My aunt lived in poverty so I had no pocket money. There were no jobs in the district for people my age. And, besides, the only thing I learned from the local boys was how to steal. Then I gave those credit cards to hackers and, in exchange, received some cash. It was all entertaining at first, an easy way to earn for some sweets and electronic toys. But then I realized that money talks. Therefore I started to save up for college, but … Well, It doesn't excuse me, of course …" Jane fell silent for a little then sighed. "I don't know why I'm telling you all these things. Nobody knows about it. However, it probably doesn't matter now…"

"I appreciate your frankness."

"Disgusting, isn't it? Shepard, the heroine of the Galaxy, a thief." Jane snickered.

"No. I think it's sad …" Krios faintly answered. "It is sad that despite all the discoveries, unification on a galactic scale and political slogans, lives of children continue to break down because of adults. And still, it is surprising that even in such conditions you became who you are."

"And who am I? The person who handles a weapon well, who has the will power and the ability to kill? The military made me, generally. Though, yes, bitchy temper I always had."

She heard as the drell chuckled.

"So what happened with your dream about college? Did you change your mind?" he asked.

"Not really, I was… helped to change my mind," Shepard voiced, sounding uncertain. "When I was almost sixteen, three older guys from a local gang decided that it was time for baby-doll Jane to grow into a woman. They caught me when I was on my way home in the evening, palmed off under my nose some stinking shit and I fainted. When I came to, I found myself in an unfamiliar house. Later, I found out that one of them lived there. I hope it is not necessary to explain what happened next."

"Oh… I... Sorry, Jane. I didn't mean to force you to bring to mind all this… I'm so sorry …" Thane said apologetically.

"No, I'm fine." Shepard hastened to calm him. "It was a long time ago and, actually, not so terrible. They were just lewd jerks, not freaks. Besides, as I said already, this case forced me to change the plans and join the army. That luckless morning, when I came crawling home, I promised myself that I will take revenge against them on my own and for this purpose I required something more than a pair of subtle female hands, able just to steal. Army was an excellent decision. It was probably silly to refuse my dream of college and normal occupation because of such things, but at that time, revenge was my main goal in life. I wanted to prove to myself that I was capable of defending my honor in the future and able to struggle for my own life. If I were a fatalist, I would say it was preordained, or it was the will of the stars or some bosh like that. But.."

"So … Did you take your vengeance?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes... I did. I found each of them. Fortunately for me, they all parted ways by that time so it was easy for me to find them alone. I uglified their mugs, cut out with a knife on each one the word "fucker". Plastic surgery would be helpful, but it's not cheap. I do not know what happened with them after that. And then I signed a contract with the Alliance."

"Clearly." Thane shortly answered.

"What? Do you think I was too cruel with them? Tell me, I will not freak out."

"It's hard for me to judge about your feelings, Jane, I'm not a woman. If I were you, I would have probably just killed them. But that's me. By the time I was sixteen, killing was a habit for me. Was your cruelty justified? I think, it depends. Did it bring you relief, did you feel yourself free after everything was done …?"

Shepard caught herself on a thought that never occurred to her. She just fulfilled her promise and continued to live on. She still remembered their faces …

_Here is Sam, lying on the floor, his hands helplessly grasp for air as she presses a chair leg against his throat. He is the smartest among them and 'fun' with Jane is probably his idea. He begs her "You won't do this, baby, right? I know you." But she smiles gloomy, playing with a knife in her hands…_

_And this is the beefy Piters. Oh, yes, he is huge. But too slow, so there are no problems with him. He sits tied to a chair and cries out: "I hate you, fucking bitch!" And she beats his unshaven mug, breaking his nose and feeling as a trickle of blood, whether his or hers, already flows on her knuckles..._

"_Jane, I beg you, don't! I always liked you!" Drew plaintively complains. He always was a coward, though, not the meanest of the bunch. But she isn't going to excuse him. Thin edge touches his cheek and a red trickle flows down his chin. Her hand strongly holds his long curly hair so he doesn't twitch … She hears his horrid yell and just hisses: "I suffered, and you will too …"_

"I don't know …" she answered quietly. "But my revenge couldn't return what was taken away so I had to come to terms with it. I don't excuse myself, but also I do not feel sorry for them. They did what they did out of instinct, and I – out of my own desires. I am probably no better than them, but I wanted to do something… for myself..."

"I understand." Thane said.

"Okay, enough of that. I've said a lot. So maybe you will love back and tell me about _your_ childhood?"

"I told you already that I was given for training at the age of six. During our studying, it wasn't permitted to leave the school territory without a teacher and there was usually not enough time for games and kid's entertainments. I am afraid, I can't tell to you more without disclosing secrets I am sworn to keep."

"And what about your parents? Did you see them?"

"Just once. When I finished my studying..."

_I enter the city … Free … For the first time in many years … I catch the smell of spring flowers everywhere and hear joyful voices … A sunny day, such a rarity on Kahje … My feet lead me to this place … Heart beats without restraint... the so familiar street … Turn to the right … So long time ago I was here! Many things have changed … See the house behind a fence and approach closer … The father stands at the door, bent over a bush of erenises … He cuts dry buds with garden scissors … He has grown old so much … A silhouette flashes in the doorway and the mother comes out on a sill … Tears fill my eyes, I want to call out to them … But I should not … She approaches the father and puts her hand on his shoulder, speaking something tender, and he answers with a smile … I would give anything to come back to them, but I have nothing … I'm nobody now, a shade, obeying another's will … I have no rights to cause them such pain … And therefore I look on them from afar … Tears flow freely on my cheeks, and I don't want to stop them … Suddenly, the father turns his head and looks at me … I shift glance hastily and walk further down the street … He shouldn't recognize me ..._

This is the only memory I have of them," Thane said. "When my mother died, I was away on a mission and couldn't come pay last respects to her even from afar. And my father … he died five years ago but at that time, I was blinded by my revenge for Irikah, scouring the galaxy of those responsible. I found out about his death too late …"

"I'm sorry, Thane," she answered sadly. "I think that is worse than being an orphan. Remembering blurred image of my mother, I don't have any warm feelings for her. I can just complain that she didn't die even earlier so I wouldn't know what a no-hoper she was. But to live like you, with such memories, knowing that somebody loves you, waits for you despite of everything … How did you come to terms with all of this?"

"I didn't have a choice, Shepard. At that time, I was already who I am today. That scene at my house was a fleeting weakness which I could allow myself. Most other times, I was a mindless murdering machine, not a loving son. I understood that I couldn't return to them, talk with them … It would be wrong and cruel to them, don't you think?"

"Yes, you are right …" she answered after some pause and sighed deeply. " Is there anywhere in this damn galaxy at least a bit of happiness? Why is life so ruthless to everyone I meet? Sometimes I just want to die from this hopelessness …"

"Happiness exists, Jane, I know it for sure," it seemed to her that he smiled saying this. "But it needs to be paid off. Who knows, maybe this is our way of paying for something?"

Shepard sniffed.

"Well, you know … If you're right, then I will demand from this futile life something very special for such a price."

"Will you? And what do you have in mind?"

"No idea … For example, I would want all my enemies to die at the same time … I'm tired of them."

The drell laughed silently.

"You are hopeless, Shepard …"


	6. Chapter 6: TRUST

14 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA

The turian sat on the downed steel beam, staring into space and not paying attention to fuss and noise around. Having taken a sip from the glass, he made a curious grimace of disgust: this 'energy drink' as it was named, had a taste of true poison. He didn't react and continued to gaze on the floor when Jack heavily took a seat to the right of him.

"Hey, don't droop …" she said and friendly pushed him with her elbow.

"I'm not drooping, I'm just resting." he answered and took one more sip.

"A-ha…" Jack sarcastically grinned. "I see … Don't be mad, Vakarian, your Shepard will be found. She's not someone who dies easily, I know it."

"Nevertheless, she is mortal, and it was proved once." he parried and then added with discontent. "Look, Jack, almost five days passed and they cleared just six floors out of twenty. Further movement will be even more difficult. How quick do you think, if she was on the lower floors, will they reach her?"

"Yeah, I know …" she said. "It sucks. But today I saw a couple of morons in Cerberus uniform. I think they will begin a full-scale archeological excavations soon. Is there any news from Joker? What is that major old goat planning?"

Garrus shook his head.

"No, the Illusive Man didn't communicate with him further. I think he's worried about loss of Miranda just as much as he is of Shepard. He has no one he could trust on the Normandy without her."

"Exactly … But I won't cry if she dies here."

The turian glanced at her reproachfully.

"Okay, all right," Jack hastened to correct herself. "I know, 'each fighter is important' and other propaganda bosh from Shepard, but I don't like this gene-modified bitch and I don't hide it."

"If we do not find Shepard and Miranda is lost, then we might as well say goodbye to the Normandy … But it is better not to think about such things." Garrus gloomy noticed.

"So, don't think. Ah! Look, our miss 'Helmet' is coming." she nodded towards Tali who was walking toward them. "Will chirp again about how remarkable doctors are on the Normandy and how quickly they brought Taylor's ass back into health."

Vakarian couldn't restrain a smile.

* * *

TRUST

It was painful. Very painful. It seemed to Shepard that a little bit more – and she would die due to all-consuming thirst and pain in her stomach. Her eyes began to burn and her broken foot was itching like crazy. She would have liked to take off the damn bandages applied by Krios and scratch it to madness. But since she was going to die, her fit let was no longer going to be of any use_. _The accruing weakness in her limbs and a shame before the drell, who showed till now miracles of endurance, lying motionlessly and silently in one position for hours, restrained her from this mad act_. _She could not even sit up.

The one joyful moment was that the roar of motors of rescue machinery became closer now and brought at least some variety in this dreadful kingdom of darkness and silence. Though, it seemed to Shepard that they were still too far, and it didn't give more hope.

Jane felt new fear settle in her gut. Despite the fact that she was already exhausted and reconciled to death, this vile sensation pursued her even more often now. A cold lump lodged in her chest, forcing her heart to tremble, and her mind filled with thoughts that were less than pleasant. It was during these times that she longed to hear Thane's smooth and calm voice. It was like music for her now, and she was ready to listen to him for hours, even if he spoke a parcel of rubbish. It was strange, but now in their infrequent conversations she was inclined to agree with him more often, feeling that he started to understand her as well. The former rage and insults were gone now, and instead she developed a sort of attachment to Krios. Jane increasingly listened attentively to his measured breathing and perceived now more sharply his rare fits of coughing, probably connected with his illness. She wasn't indifferent to him anymore. No, she didn't think of him as a male. Though, a few times, this funny thought visited her and seemed intriguing enough, but Shepard just felt that she needed someone to share her pain with. And Thane had a strong spirit, was patient and wise in his own way: now it was difficult to imagine a better partner in her misfortune. Jane didn't know what was on the drell's mind, but he often asked her how she was doing and it made her feel a little better..

"You know, you're not the only one who left the Normandy," she said, not knowing what for. Her voice was dry and lifeless, her cracked lips barely obeying.

"That's... interesting." Krios tried to restrain his surprise.

"Samara left almost at the same time as you did. She referred to some affairs, but I felt that something was wrong. She was so … cold. I asked her if she wanted to kill me for something, but she just glanced at me intently and answered that sometimes it is not necessary to hurry up with such things. So, I think, I pissed her off no less than you."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I do not know …" Jane said, not finding the answer to his question. "I just want you to know."

"I liked her." Thane suddenly observed.

"What?" she even slightly raised her head in surprise.

"Not in that sense, Shepard. We were … congenial. I don't know how to explain it. We talked many times on the Observation deck when I couldn't sleep. She is wise and far-sighted. Thanks to her, I realized some things, allowing me to wipe the slate clean. It's a pity that we will not meet again …"

Jane mused.

"Well, I would never have guessed it … The assassin and the justicar talk under the light of stars about life and philosophy …"

"Sometimes it is useful to look at things from the opposite side." Thane answered with meaning.

"Hm-m … So, from whose side you would suggest to look at things for me?"

"I think from those whose destinies and lives are in your hands."

"So, are you suggesting that the next time I kill a vorcha, I should contemplate the deep meaning of their existence? Will I do my best so?"

"You perfectly understand what I'm talking about. Don't play with words..." his voice sounded a little chilly.

"Okay," Shepard agreed just for form's sake. "Let's take that strange geth, for example. By your theory, I should reflect on its so-called "life" and endanger the whole ship instead of giving it up for research. Right?"

"It was special and therefore, at least, deserved special treatment."

"Damn it, Thane... What are you talking about?" Jane tried to raise her voice, but it turned out badly enough. "I annihilated hundreds, thousands of these creatures, different colors and forms. They are able to adapt, able to use cunning, as lame as it sounds towards AI. And I won't begin to trust one of them only because it was special."

"But it saved your life, Jane" Thane reminded her.

"And how I should know that it was not faking? Yes, it hit a few husks, but this didn't prove sincerity of its intentions. And aboard the ship it would be a ticking bomb."

Thane sighed deeply, probably trying to find the answer.

"I do not know, Shepard. Your arguments sound logical, and I always tried to submit my actions to the logic, too. But lately, I began to understand that it is not possible to explain everything so simply. Some things need to be taken on trust. You, after all, entrusted me to cover your back when we were on our first mission together, even though you knew clearly about my reputation…"

"That was different," Shepard interrupted him. "You are not a machine."

"Oh … I'm afraid, you are mistaken. When it comes to murders, I am a machine no less than any geth. Otherwise, if I'll begin to give vent to my emotions then I will be dead or it will lead to death of those who did not deserve it."

"I don't have time for that kind of thoughts during a fight" Jane insisted. "I act in a way that puts the crew at minimum risk and maximum efficiency. And if someone stands in my way, it is a problem, but not mine …"

"And that's why you shot Kolyat? Because he stood in your way to rescue some politician?" suddenly his voice became tense.

"Damn. I said I'm sorry, okay? You asked me for help, and I did it. The boy got in trouble by himself, he was inadequate! Yes, I really regret about what happened! Are you happy?" she began to breathe hard. Her strength ran low.

Thane remained silent, she heard only his deep breath. Finally he said quietly:

"My apologies, Shepard. I know you meant well. I have no right to accuse you. I'm sorry …"

A knot formed in her throat. Nervously swallowing imagined saliva, which has been occurring more frequently, she softly answered:

"I'm sorry too, Thane. I'm really very sorry about that … If only I could make things right..."

Suddenly she heard a rustle from his side. Having guessed what could become its reason, she pulled the weakened hand towards and after a moment felt his roughish, tepid palm …


	7. Chapter 7: AGREEMENT

**12 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA**

"Garrus, they found her!" Tali's voice shivered.

"What happened, Tali?" the turian, watching the huge machine lift another piece of a wall, sharply turned back to her. "Who was found where?"

"There, the third rescue group! They lifted up the right bearing beam of the seventh floor..." Tali nodded somewhere to the side and started to wring her hands nervously. "They found Miranda. She is... O, Keelah..." she hung her head and Garrus understood that she was about to burst into tears.

"Tali, calm down. What's wrong with her?" he put his hand on her shoulder and questioningly inclined his head.

"Her legs were pressed down, and her spine seemed to be broken... I don't know how she survived... She looks... Oh, Garrus, it is terrible! We've killed others so many times, but to see her in such condition..." Tali rushed to him and buried her masked face into his shoulder.

Vakarian heaved a deep sigh and embraced her shuddering body from tears.

"Don't worry, she's a strong woman. The Cerberus won't stint for her treatment." he calmed her. "Come, we should get her aboard the Normandy."

"No, she's it already taken away."

"By who?"

"I saw people with Cerberus stripes carrying her away," Tali replied, almost calmed down already. "Perhaps, they will take better care of her."

"Hm... Yes, perhaps, it will be better."

She kept silent for a moment and then said:

"I can't stop thinking about Jane, Garrus. I can't do nothing with myself. Oh, Keelah..." and she buried into his neck again, sobbing even strongly.

"Neither can I, Tali... Neither can I..."

* * *

**AGREEMENT**

"Shepard, are you all right?" the drell asked aggrievedly, having heard lingering groans from the woman.

"No, I'm not," her voice slightly trembled. "I think I'll die of this itch on my foot earlier than of thirst."

"I could try to take look. But then it will be necessary to fix your foot again".

Shepard sighed heavily.

"Don't. Usual fracture healing plus lack of air for skin under the bandages."

"We still have medi-gel, it could remove unpleasant sensations for some time." Thane offered.

"No, it can be useful later," Shepard answered and moaned again, trying to stir her foot. "You better talk to me."

"As you wish. What would you want to talk about?"

"Well... Tell me then, how do you live knowing that you should die soon?"

Thane thought for a moment before answering.

"You ask about my illness, if I understand correctly?"

"Exactly."

"Hmm..." he sighed. "I needed some time to get used to it. When I found out that it cannot be healed, I thought that I would accept it easily enough. At the end of the day, each time going on my mission, I was ready to die. But it wasn't so ...simple. Now I can't rely on myself and hang hat on my strentgh as I had earlier."

"That's why I ask. It's hard for me to imagine how is it to know that you can do nothing."

"In the end, we all die. In one year or in fifty years."

"And that's it? So simple? 'We all die'? I don't believe you, Krios."

"But it's true. What do you wish to hear from me? That I want to live? It's also true. I would like to live longer. But I have to accept this as is. I can't spend the time left for me in useless torments. I prefer to do as many things as I can. Things I weren't able to do before."

"Then why didn't you search for other possibilities of treatment? Why didn't you speak with Mordin? Why didn't you look for other doctors?"

"I... I do not think that it will help. I will just waste valuable time for useless searches." he quietly answered.

"I don't understand you, Thane. You have a strong will and you wish to live, but for some reason refuse to struggle for this. It seems, you keep something back."

"Probably..."

"Probably I don't understand you or probably you keep something back?"

"Shepard, why do you want to know this?" he asked, and it seemed to her that there was a doubt in his voice.

"I am interested."

"Really? I didn't notice earlier that you were interested in such things. Especially concerning me."

"And now I am," she answered. "Is it bad?"

"No, it's not..." the drell become puzzled a little. "It is just unusual to speak about it."

"Okay, consider this as my usual curiosity. But I'm really interested. I did not know you well and now I have a perfect opportunity to put it right."

"I understand. In that case, may I count on your reciprocity? Will you answer if I'll ask you some private question?"

"You've asked me already, a day ago or maybe more... I didn't tell anybody about my childhood and youth except you. Isn't it considered?"

"That was a history about another Jane. And I would like to ask something about whom I know today."

Shepard grinned.

"So, we have a deal, right? You answer my question, and I - yours?

"Well.. Let's call it so." Krios agreed.

"Okay. Deal," Jane answered, having thought for a moment. "But you first. So, why don't you try to recover? Why accepted it?"

She felt that this question was important for him and he didn't rush to reveal the answer. He didn't want to speak about it so much and, probably, in some other time Jane wouldn't insist, but now she caught herself on thought that it's not her usual curiosity, but rather bewilderment and even worry. It was incomprehensible and strange for Shepard why such a strong personality as Krios, and she certainly considered him strong despite the ambiguous personal relation, refused to struggle for his life.

"If you insist..." he said at last. "I gave a lot of thought to it. And sometimes couldn't understand myself. But eventually I come to conclusion that it will be better if I will be lost."

"Why?" she asked with astonishment.

"Because... Nothing holds me here. And I doubt anyone will notice my disappearance. I've done enough to deserve death, but I already remedied everything that I could and feel myself needless in this world."

"So you just lost the meaning of life?"

"Putting it bluntly - yes. But I lost it long ago with Irikah's death. The other part of my life is just unsuccessful attempts to correct my own mistakes."

"And how about Kolyat? He needs you." Jane minded.

"He's grown-up enough already to manage his own life. And he clearly let me know that doesn't require my keeping. At least as a father. Yes, we talk often, but it's more like a conversation between two brothers who were in a quarrel once. I do not think he will grieve too long when I die."

"I see." Shepard murmured, considering what she heard.

Suddenly, she felt pity for Krios for some reason. She would like to find some words of support or to convince him in obverse, but nothing came to her mind. Probably, it was because sometimes she felt herself in the same way and didn't find the justification to this feeling. She understood him.

"And what would force you to change your mind?" asked Jane, unexpected even for herself.

"To change my mind?" he seemed surprised. "I don't know. Probably, if I was involved in something so important that my presence would be necessary... But it hardly happens. I had such strong feeling only once, when I had a family. All the rest - cannot compare to it, even galaxy's rescue, excuse my frankness."

"Hm... Is family really so important?" Jane mistrustfully asked. "I don't particularly care for all that romantic bosh, but you speak of it as if it is the most important thing in the world."

"I really think so, Jane. Time spent with my family was the best for me. It was as if I woke up from a leaden dream and saw the world in all colors, in its magnificence. It can't be described by words. I believe one day you'll be able to understand, once you fall for someone so deeply..."

"If it happens, I hope this unfortunate object of my love will die earlier than I learn about it." Shepard bit.

Krios grinned.

"Why are you so categorical in this question?"

"I don't know. I just can't imagine this. It is better just to make love with whomever you wish and not to complicate things. It is easier and safer for all."

"You can't spend all life behind such a thick cover, Shepard. You will need someone whom you could open up to and trust."

"I have friends for this purpose" she minded.

"And how many friends do you have? When was the last time you spoke with somebody heart-to-heart? You didn't even tell anyone about your childhood, not to mention of feelings which constantly you have."

"Enough, Thane", this theme obviously wasn't pleasant for her. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"As you wish. Then can I ask my question?"

"Go for it." Shepard sighed. She had no choice.

"What did you do here at the lower levels?"

"Оh, damn..." she moaned. "Why are you so interested in that? Maybe you can ask another question?"

"Jane..." he said reproachfully.

"Okay... Okay..." she sighed heavily and reluctantly answered. "I was going to buy some dextrophedrine".

"The forbidden stimulators? What for?"

"What for... " Shepard imitated him. "I just wanted to relax a little, is it not clear?"

"Oh, gods..." he moaned disappointedly.

"Yes, I know, it is bad. But you have no idea how tired I am! I needed to relax somehow! Alcohol made me even worse."

"You could choose something else, but such heavy drugs..."

"What else?" she was indignant. "I can't meditate for hours as you do, I already told you this. And I don't have the leisure of hours. My every day is full of surprises and in my little free time I have to forget about all this bullshit or I will simply go mad!"

"Shepard, I think you over complicate things. You just need a male companion"

"Really? Cool. Next time I will tell this to somebody from my crew. To Taylor. Though, no, to Vakarian - I like him more." she said venomously.

"Doesn't matter who it is as long as he can understand you."

"Even I don't understand myself. You told me that. Then what are we talking about, Krios?"

"Sometimes, to understand yourself, all you have to do is tell someone what is in your heart."

"Perhaps we could make an experiment?" she asked ironically.

"I am ready to listen to you at any time, Jane."

Shepard was confused.

"I was being rhetorical." she answered uncertainly.

"It is a pity."

"Would you like so much to hear my confession?"

"Confession? No. I don't need you confession, I just would like to see _you._ The real you."  
Jane sniffed, but didn't know how to answer. At heart she knew that he was right. She always tried to seem like others wanted to see her, like the circumstances demanded from her. She even never thought to relax completely and do just what she wants, to say what she wants. She knew that she never was herself...

"I do not think that it will be a pleasant view, Thane." she silently minded.

"I think quite the opposite. From what I've learned in these past few days, this view will be grasping."

"Are you scoffing?" there were easy notes of indignation in her voice.

"I am more serious than ever," he answered quietly. "You are interesting to me, and it's true."

"Interesting?"

"Yes. I realize I thought badly of you because too many of your traits were hidden from me and from others all the time. I think, if you would revealed, I would come to know a completely different person."

"I... I don't know. I am not ready for such conversations. Also I'm not assured that it is a good idea at all. I know you too badly also." Shepard felt uncertainty, but this conversation obviously affected something inside her.

"Well, learn of me then..." he said in low tones.

Was it a challenge? An offer? Jane didn't know how to react. For all their time of teamwork, Thane seemed to her the most mysterious and reserved member of her crew. He always kept to himself, never allowing others to get closer or divulging his experiences. And now he's ready to talk about himself so easily?

"And what did you do at the lower levels?" asked Shepard suddenly.

"Help for Kolyat." he answered ingenuously.

"What?"

"Bailey charged him one task connected with a narcodealer network. Kolyat shared details with me and I understood that I could help him using my old channels. I offered him help, and he didn't refuse it, especially considering that then I wouldn't go to him every day and hammer away with the conversations. So I arrived on Crona to search for information."

Jane recollected what she told him when they met on market. Angrily joking, accusing that he returned to his old job... Suddenly she felt herself impossibly ashamed for undeservedly offending the one who very much tried to help his son and somehow to right a wrong before him.

"Sorry, Thane. I just remembered how I slandered you..." she murmured.

"Don't worry. You couldn't have known. How is your foot?"

"Much better." Shepard smiled.


	8. Chapter 8: BLOOD

10 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. ORBIT OF CRONA. SSV NORMANDY

The rest of the Normandy crew gathered in the Briefing room. The atmosphere was obviously oppressing, despite the satisfactory state of health in all present. All of them were plagued by a single question: what to do now?

"Professor, how long does it makes sense for us to wait?" asked Garrus, sitting at the table and propping up his cheek by hand.

"Difficult to tell unequivocally. The human body is sensitive enough to dehydration. In normal conditions and with the absence of wounds and diseases - about ten days. At the lower temperatures - twelve. Considering physiological features of Shepard - fifteen. No more." informed Solus.

"Fuck..." Jack voiced the general opinion about this subject.

"How about medi-gel?" Joker asked. "Seems like she always carries a couple doses."

"Just medicine, Mr. Moreau," answered Mordin. "Doesn't compensate the liquid deficiency. Its efficiency in such conditions is minimal. Only for removal of painful symptoms."

"Seven days... If they continue moving at those speeds, in seven days they will reach only the eighteenth floor. Where Shepard is - we don't know," Garrus ascertained the facts.

"Cerberus digs on limit of possibilities," Joker said. "The Illusive Man communicated with me yesterday and said that we have to stay here until they find Shepard... Alive or dead," he added uncertainly.

"Oh, Keelah! Do they really plan the second Lazarus?" Tali exclaimed.

"Be sure, these mongrels won't let her die easily," muttered Jack.

Suddenly Garrus punched the table.

"Enough! That's enough talking about her as if she died already. Please..."

"Intent to agree with Garrus. Will not force the situation," Solus said. "Commander always surprised us. We will hope for it now too."

"Okay, what are we gonna do? I don't want to sit in that fucking cargo bay without business," Jack made a helpless gesture and looked over the others.

Grunt, who was still leaning against the wall and keeping silent, approached to table and growled: "I don't trust Cerberus. We have to set a watch on the planet and look after them so they secretly won't run off with Shepard's body."

"Exactly, beef, you're right," the malicious grin appeared on Jack's lips.

* * *

BLOOD

The click of a shutter pulled him out of a dream. Comprehension of what was happening came to him instantly. The numb, weakened body instinctively moved to the right, where thick metal beam divided them. Weak biotic light bloomed around his finger tips and he saw in twilight as her hand, quivering from the weight of the pistol, drew up.

"Jane!" he almost shouted and sharply moved in aperture between blockage and beam to get closer to her. His hand quickly seized hers, pressing the weapon to the ground. "What are you doing?"

Drawing himself up as close as possible, he appeared a foot from her face and propped the hand with biotic light on elbow. His heart skipped a beat... Instead of strong and beautiful in her own way woman, now he saw the exhausted body: once bright eyes faded and were half-closed, the deep dark circles beneath them, and the general shade of her skin became bluish. There were deep hollows on her cheeks, lips were covered by thick cracked crust. Shepard more likely reminded him of a mummy now. She shivered and her face was writhed by grimace of pain. He knew that she desperately wanted to cry but couldn't. There were no tears for a long time already.

"Why, Jane..." he whispered ruefully and unclenched his weak grasp of her fingers that held the weapon handle. "What for..."

"I can't anymore!" she silently howled. "Let me die!"

With the last bit of strength he tried to squeeze through aperture even more close to her and put his head on her forearm.

"Hold on, Shepard... Do you hear? Clearing machines are close already..."

She burst into a new wave of crying without tears.

"Oh, my God, Thane... You know after all that they won't be in time. Please, I beg... Let me die!"

"Don't even hope for it, " he husked and took off a penknife from his pocket. Bringing the edge to wrist he slightly blinked and the specific sound of cut flesh was heard. Warm drops fell on Shepard's lips.

"No! No!" realizing what happened, she turned away.

"Shepard, don't spill it in vain," he angrily said and forced her head to turn back by hand.

The woman reconciled. It seems like she had no forces to struggle any more. She slightly opened the cracked lips and warm, bitter-salty liquid flowed into her mouth. She greedy swallowed it, struggling with emetic reflexes, struggling with sensation that all this is disgusting and vile. But to feel moisture in the gullet, even such as it, was the greatest pleasure for her now. Some seconds or even minutes passed. She lost the sensation of time, being given to the contradictory feelings which gushed over her.

At last, he took away his hand, extinguished sparks of biotics on his fingers and having made himself injection of medi-gel near the cut, powerlessly failed near Jane.

They remained silent for some time, breathing heavily.

"Why?" at last she asked quietly. Shepard felt accruing dizziness as if some whirlwind carried her somewhere far away.

"Because I want you to live. Because I need you... " she heard his weak voice and fainted.

* * *

Her head cracked from pain again. As Shepard came to her senses, the pain only amplified and there was an easy shiver and nausea in her body. The memories of what happened flashed before her eyes.

"Thane?" she anxiously whispered, his familiar breath absent.

"Thane?" repeated Jane more loudly when no answer came.

"What?" the sleepy weak voice responded. "Jane? How are you?"

The sigh of relief flew from her lips. Probably he crawled away from her back on his place to lay down more comfortably.

"What's happened? I... I felt like I failed somewhere... And now I have a strange sensation inside," speaking words was extremely hard. But she knew that she should speak. If they will stop to speak with each other, then...

"I think, it's poisoning."

"What?" asked Shepard, uncomprehending.

"My organism produces weak toxins to which other races are sensitive. Probably, humans are not an exception. I think, you'll feel yourself better soon." he assured her.

"Thane, I..."

"I know what you want to say. Just keep your strength," he stopped her. "Let's rest, Jane. I'm very tired..."

"Yes... Of course..."

And they sunk into sleep, without paying attention to incessant rumble of machines somewhere above.


	9. Chapter 9: CONFESSION

8 DAYS BEFORE DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. ORBIT OF CRONA. SSV NORMANDY

"Hey... Will you drink with me?" Garrus heard behind himself.

The dining room was empty and silent as most of the crew had retired to rest.

"I won't say no."

"This is for you. I bought it today," Jack gave him a bottle of turian booze and sat down opposite him.

"Оh, thanks," appreciated Vakarian and, taking the present, leaned back in the chair. "Cheers." he raised a bottle in characteristic gesture.

"Cheers." Jack repeated and drained half of her bottle at a swallow.

There were four coffins already in the cargo bay of the Normandy. Unlucky crewmen who were found in the last few days: the mechanic from the engineering deck, two navigators and Zaeed. The last died, probably, during the explosion, metal splinters punched his skull through. When he was found yesterday among blockages, the look of his body was rather depressing. It is not like everyone on the Normandy liked Zaeed, and he didn't aspire to win anyone's trust. However, death of a man who fought with you shoulder to shoulder many times was always a sad fact.

The body of the mechanic was already requested by his relatives, and by the public decision the others will be thrown out in free space in the sector occupied by human colonies. As Joker said, closer to home...

"What will happen with us, Vakarian?" Jack significantly blinked and inclined her head. "You understand what I mean."

The turian sighed and took one more sip. If he knew...

"I have no idea. But I won't stay here under another's command." Garrus answered.

"Nobody will," confidently declared Jack. "How about we "borrow" Normandy in this case?"

"Borrow?" he asked, trying to make sure that he correctly understood her hint.

"Don't pose yourself as the moron," she moved forward. "If we won't find Shepard alive, it will be the greatest idiocy to return this birdie to Cerberus, besides the fact that we were involved in all this shit from the very beginning. I have experience in similar affairs, trust me." her lips played a curve smile.

"I... I will think about it." Garrus answered.

"O-o-kay," she stretched, rising and going to exit. "Just use your brains faster, it will be necessary to prepare all things."

When he remained alone at last, Vakarian set aside half empty bottle and closed his eyes, clasping head by hands. This was not how he imagined his future...

* * *

CONFESSION

To say that she was bad – meant nothing to say. She felt herself completely exhausted as if someone drank all her vital juice, and in the weakened body there was only a place for pain and torments. The mind refused to struggle, she even more often failed in painful dream or delirium and when she saw the streams of fresh, cool water, she just greedily opened her mouth and sufficed air by fingers … Did she wish to die? Oh, yes. But for some reason, Jane felt huge gratitude to Krios for stopping her that time. His words sounded in her head again and again, and for the first time for many long years it seemed to her that her life actually meant something to someone. Not because she should rescue the galaxy or do some other great things, but just because she, impudent and sometimes severe commander Shepard, became needed by someone. Probably, he said that just to calm her, but in her heart she desired very much that it wasn't true. "After all, you, too, care what will happen to him, admit it!" said her inner voice, and the woman more often caught herself with the thought that his death upset her more than her own.

She felt that she wouldn't be able to speak and move soon, but this conversation between them has to be had. Jane didn't know why it was so important for her, didn't know what for it was … She always thought about someone else's opinion in last turn, but now she wished so much to be understood and excused. Probably, the criminals feel themselves the same before their death-penalty, she thought. When it is already impossible to change anything, but so desirable that someone just said to you: "Everything will be okay, my friend, you just stumbled once, as well as all of us, but simply your way became too parted with ours."

"Now... I understand how it is to be powerless..." she begun.

"You aren't powerless, you still have hope," he responded, and she subconsciously noticed that his voice became much weaker.

"I … You know, I never reflected so much before as here. I never had enough time for it... Or intent …" Shepard said. "I just want you to know that you turned my life inside out ..."

"Jane, listen …"

"No... Please... It is difficult for me to speak, so let me say it while it is possible..." being convinced that he did not intend to interrupt her more, she continued, breathing heavily. "That day when you came to my room and said that you were leaving, I... was sincerely perplexed... I couldn't understand, how could this happen... Nobody ever left my ship like you... It was always possible to leave my crew, but only by one way: to die in a battle... And you … you broke my composure then... I was very angry at you and offended... I never tried to understand myself because I didn't want to change anything ... All suited me. Choice that I've made... Crew that I hired... My sacrifices... … And now I just hate myself..."

"You are just tired." Thane minded.

"No... I'm not...It is a feeling of disgust for my acts... I want you to know... I'm very sorry... Could be much less of those who lost through my fault ... I just had to make more of an effort, feel more compassion... And not to sweep away all those who stood in my way... After all it isn't so much, right?"

"You rescued billions of lives."

"Don't you know that sometimes billions of lives don't have to cost one? Do you remember our conversation about cause and effect relations? Now I see this relation... Once I flew high from my coolness, popularity and heroism, but now I die here of poor and weak-willed pettiness, being sorry about my acts, about my futile life. Ridiculous... If I had been be killed in a battle, it would not have been so instructive and demonstrable as this... Don't you think?"

"I think, nevertheless, we are not here for this purpose, Jane..."

"For what then? Tell to me truly, what do you think about all of this?"

"I'm afraid, I can't answer this question as I'm also in doubts... But I don't believe that you will die here. I told you earlier, and I repeat it now."

Shepard tried to laugh, but as a result only a strange rattle was pulled out from her throat.

"You are a naive optimist and an extremely mysterious person, Krios... You have more desire to live than I, but for some reason you don't intend to stay late in this world, though assiduously try to force me to do it ... However... Now it is unimportant. I told you what I wanted and I feel better... Consider it... my confession... My God, it is so desirable to sleep..."

She calmed down. He heard her light breath and understood that the woman sunk into a sleep.

"I saw you now, the real you..." he whispered and groped her hand in the dark by palm...

* * *

She didn't feel time anymore . She dissolved in this infinite darkness, forgetting sometimes where she was and why. It seemed to her, she floated among the stars, and they spoke to her, whispered something and somewhere far away sounds of strange rumble... She less often came to senses to recollect severe reality and forget herself again. Sometimes she was called by familiar and such dear deep voice: "Jane...". She answered him as if her life depended on it. And though she couldn't speak anymore, but she always found forces to whisper hardly: "I'm... Here...". And then the sigh of relief was heard in the dark.

A few times she felt the touch of something cold to her hand. When Jane realized that it was his palm, she moved fingers as a sign of greeting and easily compressed her hand in the answer. During such moments it seemed to her that she was ready to lie like this eternally, that she didn't need anything now except this touch. The body ceased to ache. Or she just ceased to feel it. She wasn't tormented any more by thirst, and the broken foot didn't disturb her, all of it remained somewhere far away. Everything that she had now was his voice and his palm. Some times she felt easy injection in her hand and then the pleasant wave rolled on her. "What is it? The medicine?" she asked herself with astonishment, somewhere on the brink of consciousness, but it was unimportant now.

And once, in some strange dream when there were only far stars around her, it became unusually silent. Stars ceased to whisper, and the habitual rumble disappeared. As if someone cleaned all sounds from the Universe. She didn't remember any more, what was her name and who she was. But whence from the depth of soul the understanding came: it was the end.

And when the voice called her and then again, but more persevering, she decided that it was time to leave this place. "Farewell..."strange echo responded inside her, and she soared up somewhere to the white star which attracted and burnt with a bright fire...


	10. Chapter 10: FATE

DESPAIR. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA

Operator Perkinson was tired. He was very tired and wanted to sleep. The Cerberus paid him well for this job, but the thirteen days without holidays and normal rest was too much. Of course, he understood everything: they were informed, for the sake of all this haste, but just like his other coworkers, Perkinson thought that his bosses were insane as they continued the intense search for so long. The main clearing group ceased to hurry a few days ago already as they didn't come across any more survivors, and chances of it were slim. And yesterday there was a happy day: they were finally allowed to relax and reduce speed a little. Having muffled all motors, he and other foremen allowed themselves to sleep well at last and to have a good, slow breakfast. Two ground floors still remained ahead, but it will occupy no more than three-four days, and then it will be possible to get out from this grown hateful planet with pleasure.

But blissful slow drinking of morning coffee was interrupted by the worker Lee.

"Hey, boss, apparently we have a state of emergency," being out of breath, he flocked in their mobile van with noise.

"What state of emergency?" asked Perkinson discontentedly.

"Our sensors just fixed a weak sound somewhere below level of the twentieth floor. The preliminary analysis shows that it can be someone's groan." Lee emotionally informed.

"A groan?" Perkinson set aside his cup of coffee and moved forward. "Are you sure? And what do you mean 'below the twentieth floor'?"

"I do not know, boss, VI asserts that the voice belongs to a non-human male. Judging by timbre, probably, turian or batarian. In place of localization of sound , an elevator shaft was located. Most likely, the poor guy fell there after the explosion."

"Holy shit! Eighteen days... How did he survive? Are you sure this is not a mistake?" mistrustfully asked Perkinson.

Lee shrugged.

"I just rely on sensors."

Perkinson swore. He understood that this survivor after so much time will mean a renewal of the accelerated pace for them. But he also couldn't suppress this fact: Cerberus would know it for certain.

"Everyone, be ready for quick clearing in 5 minutes." he discontentedly ordered and drained the remainder of the coffee at a swallow.

* * *

18-TH DAY AFTER EXPLOSION. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. ORBIT OF CRONA. SSV NORMANDY

The message from the Illusive Man was very short and absolutely not clear:

_Stay in orbit of Crona until special instructions. And no surprises, Joker._

"Does anybody have any ideas?" asked Moreau when the crew gathered urgently in the Briefing room.

"Grunt reported from Crona that Cerberus workers got aboard their ship some container. It seems like someone's body," Garrus informed. "He couldn't find out more as he was in loading docks on remote distance so as not to provoke superfluous questions."

An oppressive silence established in the room. Dr. Chakwas gasped and covered her lips by palm, Jack swore and leaned back on chair, having set up feet on table, the others just sighed or stared on the floor.

"Conclusions are premature," Mordin started talking. "Probably, it is stasis camera. The possibility of survival of the Commander without external influences is smallest, but nevertheless. I suggest to wait."

"To wait? They can go to hell!" Jack blurted out. "Why don't they just tell us that she's alive? Vakarian, I told you, we should get out of here!"

"Hold your fire, Jack! Our ship is full of people who don't hurry to become pirates," Garrus tried to bring her to reason and then addressed Taylor, who already obviously recovered from traumas thanks to the big efforts of Solus and Chakwas. "Jacob, could you contact Cerberus and learn anything?"

"I'm considered one of you by them," he shook his head. "Miranda is the only one who could find out anything now."

"But... They recovered Shepard once already," Tali cautiously began. "Even if she is dead, maybe..."

"Would prefer not to think of it, Tali," Mordin replied seriously. "Morals - not the strength of Cerberus. Considering technologies which they've received as a result of our struggle against the Collectors... Forecasts are unfavorable. Dangerous experiment is possible. Risky, but it is perspective."

All understood what the professor was talking about. Everyone would like to mind, declare that is it not true, but the crew of Normandy already knew Cerberus too well, so nobody had the proper words... This organization was capable for everything...

* * *

20-TH DAY AFTER EXPLOSION. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA

The soft female voice swam into consciousness. Someone's hand touched his forehead, then his hand. He felt a light tingle on the inner side of his elbow.

"Two dozes of prothium more plus three dozes of saline." said some man somewhere away.

Eyelids were improbably heavy, but after some seconds nevertheless he opened his eyes. He felt the pain from bright light of lamps on a ceiling so blinked again and moaned.

"Seems like he regained consciousness," said the woman standing nearby and still holding him by the hand. "Pulse is below normal limits, pressure is within normal limits. Can you hear me?" she inclined over him.

"Who are you?" he whispered with difficulty. "Where is Jane?"

"Don't worry, you are in the hospital. Do you remember what your name is? Say your name that we could inform your natives." though the woman almost whispered, it seemed to him that his head was about to explode from such loud sound.

"Where is Jane?" he repeated again and, blinking, slightly opened his eyes.

"Jane? What Jane?"

"Jane Shepard... She... Was with me..."

He saw that the woman quizzically straightened her back and looked somewhere aside.

"Seems like he's raving. It's normal. Give him sedative, he'll be fine in a couple of days." the same man told.

"No... Please... Tell me where Jane is!" he begged, hardly trying to rise. But the woman already infused him with something intravenously, and he failed in the abyss again, not having heard the answer.

* * *

22-ND DAY AFTER EXPLOSION. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA

It seemed to him that he slept all life and had some infinite dreadful dream. Opening his eyes, he found himself lying on hospital cot in a small cell of plastic. Somewhere away someone coughed, and behind thin wall someone's easy groan was heard. Hands refused to obey, and when he brought them to his face, he saw that they became much thinner, and a bandage was applied on his left wrist. Memory came back to Krios, and together with it came the comprehension of happened: he was rescued. His heart began to race and some device on the right began to squeak. After half-minute, an asari nurse appeared in the doorway.

"Oh, you woke up!" she smile lovingly. "How do you feel? Do you remember what happened to you?"

"I'm fine, thanks," Thane answered gloomily. "Tell me, where is the human female whom was found together with me?"

"The human female?" the nurse asked, being perplexed. "Are you sure? After such exhaustion loss of memory, hallucination is normal..."

"Listen!" he said obviously angry, but then collected himself. "I'm sorry... I know precisely that the woman was with me there. I spent with her all this time under blockage. Where is she?"

The asari shrugged.

"You were the last of the survivors. It is just a miracle that you were alive. All others who were found were delivered to us, it is the nearest hospital to the point of the explosion. So... I am afraid, I can't help you. I'm so sorry..." she said and looked away.

"Are you sure of it?" Thane refused to believe. "Couldn't you miss anything? What about the other clinics?"

"It is impossible. Other clinics are too far for emergency aid, and here is each victim on the account. Especially such unique survivor as you," she shook her head and, having thought for a few moments, added: "If you need something, I will be nearby. The doctor will come to you soon."

The door closed behind her. Krios recollected the awful infinite night spent there, under blockage, in the silence and in the dark. All that time it seemed to him that emptiness will absorb him, and he desperately ran from it, talking to Shepard or plunging into his memories. But now he felt that it overtook him nevertheless, putting out the last warm spark inside him. He lost everything that he had. Hot, bitter tears began to flow from his dark eyes, for the first time in many years...

* * *

25-TH DAY AFTER EXPLOSION. SYSTEM AJAKSIS. PLANET CRONA

"I am so glad you arrived, Kolyat. Thank you." he said, giving the filled papers to the nurse in reception.

"That's okay, father. I suffered prolonged anxiety. Regretted the hundred times that agreed to your offer," the young drell answered. "In these past days I realized that, anyway, I have no one closer than you..."

Thane smiled softly and put his hand on his son's shoulder.

"That is the best thing I've heard, Kolyat. You can't imagine how I..."

"Going somewhere, Krios?" painfully familiar female voice sounded behind him.

Without believing his own ears, Thane turned around.

"Oh, gods! This woman again! Will she shoot me once more?" Kolyat indignantly exclaimed and silently added through clenched teeth to his father: "She looks just terribly this time..."

But Krios didn't hear him any more.

"Jane!" he rushed to her. "But how... I thought you were..." he muttered perplexedly, looking at the extremely thin, pale woman facing him. But her eyes burnt again, and lips were played by frolic smile. Not listening the end of his phrase, she threw her arms around his neck.

"Just shut up..." she whispered, and he strongly embraced her, burying his face into her bush of hair.

They stood silently, having closed eyes and having forgotten about everything while surprised Kolyat and casual witnesses threw their wondering sights at this strange couple.

"What do you think, could we try to... be together?" she said in low tones, still having her face buried in his shoulder.

"With your temper... I do not know, but I am ready to try." he answered, hardly constraining a smile.

She appraised his joke, sharply discharged and, defiantly sticking her forefinger into his breast, said in an angry voice:

"If it so, you should forget all this nonsense about fatality and sensations of your own uselessness! I won't calm down, yet I will not rummage all galaxy in search of medicine for you and I demand from you the same!"

Krios lifted his hands in conciliatory gesture.

"As I understand, I have no choice?" he asked with serious look.

"No," she cut him off. "Promise me that you will struggle for your life!"

"Okay. I promise you, Siha." and a smile lighted up his face.

"What is siha? Seems like my translator glitched." she rolled up her head, not understanding.

The drell laughed. She saw him so carefree for the first time.

"No, it didn't, I will explain to you later." he said and pulled her by hand where his son stood with a surprised look ...


	11. EPILOGUE

EPILOGUE

"I demand an explanations, Patelli." the Illusive Man exhaled, his holo-image covered by easy mist.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you know, she is uncontrollable!" the bulky man dressed in white excused himself.

"Patelli, are you sane?" the Illusive Man took a seat in his armchair more comfortably. "The woman, lain eighteen days without water and food, in a deep coma, run off from a secret protected lab at the first awakening, and all personnel couldn't do anything to stop her? You think I'm an idiot?"

"Sir, but... You said that her life is above all. When she regained consciousness, she first of all started to ask where a drell was who was with her under the blockage, and didn't want to listen to anything else. After all we took away only Shepard, and he was left on Crona. When we told her that he's not in the lab and his destiny is unknown to us, she became simply enraged!" Patelli started to gesticulate desperately, trying to express all tragic element of the happened. "She jumped, despite weak and unstable condition, seized a scalpel from the table and threatened to thrust it into her eye if we didn't immediately give her a shuttle to take her back to Crona!"

The Illusive Man smiled.

"Ah yes, Shepard!" his face became serious. "Okay, let's admit it. But where was the security? Why didn't you give her tranquilizer? There were more than two tens of people!"

"We planned, but..." Patelli, guilty, made a helpless gesture. "She, probably, foresaw it and covered herself behind Emilie then, putting a scalpel to her throat. She is our brand new young assistant, she was extremely frightened... And Shepard cried out that she has killed for less and that you can confirm it personally, and that if we don't take her back to Crona, then..." scientist was confused and reddened.

"Then what?" the Illusive Man demanded to finish the phrase, letting out clubs of tobacco smoke.

"Then... You can fly far from here right now and start to lick Reapers ass as it will be your last chance to save yours... I am sorry, sir, it is the literal citation..." Patelli seemed absolutely embarrassed and stood, having hung his head low.

The man in the armchair burst out laughing. It was a big rarity, therefore the scientist quizzically looked at him, not knowing what to think. At last, the Illusive Man calmed down and said:

"All is clear, Patelli. All of you are complete blockheads. I hope, nothing threatens to Shepard's health, otherwise you will be personally responsible for it."

"She's exhausted, and her foot was broken, but judging by her vigorous actions, she will recover soon." the scientist nodded perplexedly.

"Give me full report about the condition of her organism and possible forecasts for the future. That's all for now." and the Illusive Man disconnected communication.

Thoughtfully having extinguished his cigarette, he turned to the information terminal and found the case file on Thane Krios.

"Interesting... Very interesting..." he told to himself and screwed his face into a smile.

* * *

**A/N: So, that's all, guys! Thank you for your patience, attention and reviews. Hope you liked this story and it's ending ;) **


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